I do need to find a psych program that takes my insurance, as well as a decent therapist. I do feel better talking to my mom about how I feel, but it stresses her to hear how down I am sometimes.
Nice thing is, I get to hang out with Sam a bit more. Since he can't drink and I'm not supposed to, it's a lot easier to hang out than before, because at alternating times only one of us wasn't drinking, which always became an annoyance for the sober party at some point. A lot of our friends are heavy drinkers as well, so the amount of peer pressure is crazy.
I've also found some kind of odd faith in all this misery. I'm going back to church, and I'm rather enjoying it right now. Even though I have some issuses with a lot of the anger that comes out of it, but a lot of the Christian faith is based upon hope and compassion, which does give me a lot of the strength to get through the day.